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Ask a Guy: My Boyfriend Flirts With Other Women

He never meets up with them, though. Fear that this guy is the one true love of their life.

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You chose him — you knew what kind of an animal he was when you started going out. The fact is, this whole pattern of people projecting a fantasy version of someone onto the actual person is ludicrous.

She would light up a room and sexuality radiated from her effortlessly.

Brenda Song

Instead of wanting to understand them more, we want to make our self-inflicted ego-inflicted pain go away. The reality of it is that if you want to mentally and emotionally be in a place where you have any say in your relationship, you have to diminish your fear of loss.

Then they shame, punish or guilt their partner into stopping that behavior.

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It may seem narcissistic, but people do it all the time. His actions mean nothing about you as a person.

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I give him everything that he needs sexually, emotionally, physically and mentally, but still he flirts with other girls and has sexy conversations with them. Then… one… two… three… five years into the relationship… they wonder where all the passion went.

Ashley Benson

Rather than wanting him to change, the better path is to move towards understanding each other better. I had a girlfriend who was very flirtatious by nature. Sure, you may complain about it or Hook up safety upset.

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What should I do? When you can accept him as he is, you start to show him a path towards filling that void.

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Some people have voids inside them and they forever try to fill them — with having other people desire them, with sex, with power, with money, etc. If I were an insecure jealous boyfriend type, I would have flipped out.

Let me shift your attention to the fact that you chose this guy.

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From the get-go, you chose him… but secretly you hoped and believed that he would change for you. You can feel hurt and victimized or you can open your eyes to the bigger picture… and maybe learn something valuable about your guy in the process maybe some need that he still needs met.

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A lot to think about. To sum it up: That can only happen if you drop the insecurities taking things personally. If you want the relationship to move forward, find deeper areas where you can reach him and inspire him.