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Finding an Asian Asian girls typically hang out at one of three places: As she takes out her phone to tell you, you should make a nice comment about her phone flair Asian girls always have some bedazzled jank hanging off our phones, usually a cartoon duck or a jade tiger.

But if you're going to lock it down and marry your Oriental princess, you must know one final thing: The First Date It doesn't matter where you take an Asian girl on a first date as long as you stick to the following topics of conversation: However, no matter what you do, don't step on the yellow-fever land mine that is acknowledging the Asian fetish.

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When you approach her, ask for the time. Your saintly self just goes with it. And with that, you're in.

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When you get there, look around: Of course, because of this, my parents want me to marry a Chinese guy and my brother to marry a white girl. Oh yeah, and you know we are racists.

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The Relationship If you get to the point now where you're dating an Asian girl, you better understand where she's coming from.

Locking it Down If you've made it this far, then you know all the dirty secrets of dating an Asian girl.

So, if you're going to marry an Asian, get ready to empty your pockets. Yes, we all implicitly know what's going on here -- why else did America go to war in two Asian countries last century? It's just good fiscal policy.

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According to my mom, the tradition stems from the groom's family giving the bride's family a cow in exchange for her. Asian girls will go on a date with anyone if she can tell a cutesy story about it later: You know we hate animals.

Us girls all like Nulled dating software pretend that we're your first Far East foray.

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